I was three when I raised my hand to help with milk distribution.

It was a very small thing. Making sure every kid in our preschool class got their share before lunch. I remember the weight of those little cartons, they felt important. Miss Nieve smiled when I volunteered, and something warm settled in my chest. I liked being useful. I liked being the one who made sure no one was left out. And I am lactose intolerant so I could also skip myself. Win-win.

Years later, I'd find myself in front of classrooms again, but this time with campaign posters and nervous energy. Student council elections, class president speeches, the same warm feeling when people said yes, they'd vote for me.

I took the same path every year until university, and each time felt natural. Who else was going to be class president if not me? It was not ambition, it felt more like recognition. Acknowledgement of self.

I wonder now about that first morning with the milk. Whether I was already someone who stepped forward, or whether stepping forward was what made me into someone. Whether we find our roles or they find us. Do you have a tiny 'yes' that became a compass?

The foot-in-the-door technique operates on a simple premise: people who agree to a small request become more likely to agree to a larger one. But what appears to be social manipulation reveals something deeper about how we construct our sense of self.

When we say yes to collecting signatures for a cause, we don't just perform an action. We begin to see ourselves as someone who supports that cause. The initial compliance creates a subtle identity shift that makes the next request feel consistent rather than intrusive.

Beyond weakness or gullibility this technique is about cognitive coherence. Our minds work to align our actions with our self-concept, and when the two don't match, we tend to adjust our identity rather than admit inconsistency.

It works because it exploits a fundamental human drive: the need to be internally consistent. We tell ourselves a story about who we are, and each small yes adds a page to that narrative. The person who helps with the petition becomes someone who helps. The homeowner who allows a small safety inspection becomes someone who cares about safety.

But here's the paradox: while we're being influenced, we genuinely begin to embody the identity we're stepping into. The performed self becomes the actual self, at least temporarily.

The most skilled practitioners understand this isn't about pushing people toward what they don't want. It's about helping them discover what they might already want, one small step at a time. What small yes have you said recently that changed how you see yourself?

Notice your recent commitments, the small ones that seemed inconsequential at the time.

Awareness itself can become a form of agency. When you understand how your identity shifts through small commitments, you can be more intentional about which trail you're walking.

The line between who we are and who we become through our smallest choices is thinner than we think. What small yes are you considering right now, and what identity might it be inviting you to try on?

Reply and share what you discover. These patterns are easier to see when we explore them together.