In partnership with
Motivation & Burnout | Purpose Paradox
THE THOUGHT
We can, in fact, succeed at becoming the wrong person.
For years, architecture felt like the only path. I used to daydream of lines where glass met steel. Build houses out of popsicle sticks. Imagine families that would call art their home. Architecture felt like destiny written in blueprints.
The dream led to university. Studies of proportions. Topography. Building codes. Natural light patterns. A religion of form and function, with professors who spoke about the poetry of space. I was becoming exactly who I believed I should become.
Years passed. Gradually, I found myself surrounded by real clients with budgets that allowed for one-of-a-kind designs. Yet when my first creation rose from the ground, I felt nothing. Standing in what should have been purpose, I discovered emptiness. Somehow the daydream had become sleepwalking.
What is it about purpose that cannot be engineered?
He who has a why to live can bear with almost any how.
THE DIVE
The Trap of Chasing Purpose
We are told to "find our purpose" as if it were an item waiting on a shelf. But purpose is not found, it is formed. The paradox of purpose is simple: the harder we chase it, the further it drifts.
Psychologist Michael Steger's research confirms the pattern. People actively searching for meaning report significantly lower life satisfaction than those who simply feel meaning's presence. The search itself becomes the obstacle, a horizon: always visible, never reached.
We see it in the friend who relocates abroad to "find themselves," only to discover their discontent traveled with them. Or the artist who turns their passion into a career, then watches creativity disappear under the burden of monetization. Purpose treated as external achievement cannot fill the void we're trying to escape.
Robert Vallerand's research on passion reveals why. He identifies two distinct pathways. Obsessive passion is driven by external validation and expectations. It thrives on metrics and comparisons. Harmonious passion, by contrast, flows naturally from authentic interest. The first leads to anxiety and burnout, the second to sustainable fulfillment.
How we stumble into genuine interest is a question for another issue. But once that spark appears, how does it develop?
The answer lies in neuroplasticity, the brain's ability to rewire itself through experience. Neurons that fire together wire together. Each time we engage deeply with something, neural pathways strengthen, embedding patterns into identity. Meaning is a form of learning.
Authentic purpose develops naturally. It doesn't arrive through a single revelation. It accumulates through repeated engagement: conversations that matter, problems that absorb our capabilities, commitments that deepen with time.
Sudden insights may feel transformative, but neuroscience shows they are surface phenomena. They mark the instant unconscious patterns, reinforced over years, break into awareness. The artist, curious about painting, discovers love through thousands of brushstrokes.
Purpose, then, is not a destination. It is the shadow of sustained attention.
THE PRACTICE
Tracing Curiosity
This week, set aside fifteen minutes each day to explore something that serves no purpose other than catching your attention.
Return to something you loved as a child and notice whether the spark is still alive.
Pull out an old book or unfinished project and see what feelings resurface.
Learn three words in a language you've always wanted to explore. Ask yourself what draws you toward that sound or culture.
Treat these as doorways to self-awareness. Which activity made time vanish? Which felt effortless?
I once thought my life as an architect was wasted, built on a false foundation. But maybe we are meant to have more than one purpose. Maybe designing houses was exactly what was needed then, even if it feels hollow now. Wrong would have been to continue a path without alignment.
Purpose emerges from living with curiosity and attention. It grows where your focus lingers. It is not waiting out there, because it already lives within you. It is fluid and belongs to those willing to live with uncompromising honesty.
What matters so deeply today that you simply cannot afford to ignore?
NOTEWORTHY
Read: The Purpose Paradox by Psychology Today —Why ninety-one percent of us feel distressed while chasing what should bring fulfillment.
Watch: What Makes Life Meaningful by Michael Steger — A TEDx talk examining what transforms ordinary moments into sources of profound significance.
Explore: The Path to Purpose by William Damon — How purpose takes root through small commitments that grow over time.
COMMUNITY
SUPPORT THE THOUGHT
If our work adds something meaningful to your week, consider supporting the research and writing that makes it possible. Support the work here.
This edition contains affiliate links. As an Amazon Associate, we may earn from qualifying purchases at no additional cost to you. Thank you for supporting our newsletter!