Uncertainty & Anxiety | Intolerance of Uncertainty
THE THOUGHT
Life is uncertain but mortgages don't pause for layoffs.
In 2025, jobs vanish in a single earnings call, industries can be disrupted overnight, and entry-level opportunities are scarce. In this landscape, I often see two kinds of people, both moving through reality in very different ways.
For some, uncertainty becomes unbearable. Every company announcement feels ominous. Every meeting invitation sparks dread. Time itself is distorted, making each decision feel both urgent and futile.
Others acknowledge the same instability but update their résumés, expand their networks, learn new skills, and continue to work with focus simply because it is Tuesday. They manage, for a time, to find their way through the fog.
Both paths are deeply human. Yet a critical difference lies in tolerance. Tolerance for what cannot be controlled, cannot be known, cannot be resolved through worry.
Uncertainty will touch your life. That much is certain. When it does, how will you carry it?
Where there is no uncertainty, there is no possibility.
THE DIVE
The Need to Know
Disruption arrives with little warning. The stakes are real, yet the mind often reacts to the possibility of loss with the same force as the loss itself. Intolerance of uncertainty does not distinguish between imaginary threats and real ones.
You see it in the colleague refreshing LinkedIn for clues about their fate, or the friend who calls three times to confirm dinner. Same neural alarm: not knowing equals danger. Real or imagined, the brain's prediction system goes into overdrive, treating the absence of information as an emergency.
This is not weakness. It is wiring. The brain that once kept our ancestors alive by watching the horizon for predators now scans Slack messages and email tone for signs of impending doom. Most modern uncertainties will not kill us, but our ancient alarm system cannot tell the difference.
Personal history and traits intensify the pattern. A child whose parent's mood shifted unpredictably learns to read signs of danger. The teenager whose family faced financial instability develops hypervigilance around money. Perfectionism can sharpen the discomfort, making any uncontrolled outcome feel like failure.
In a 2016 study published in Nature Communications, participants flipped rocks in a computer game trying to avoid hidden snakes. If a snake appeared, they received a mild electric shock. Some symbols guaranteed a shock, some safety, and some left them guessing. Anxiety peaked in the "maybe" condition.
Surprisingly, many participants in this study preferred taking the shock immediately over waiting. Brain scans confirmed uncertainty activated the same neural circuits as physical pain. This is why waiting for layoffs can feel worse than the layoff itself.
Yet the cruel irony is that seeking certainty rarely brings safety. It clouds judgment, multiplies stress, and delays adaptation.
The question becomes: what would change if not knowing felt safe?
THE PRACTICE
Training for Uncertainty
Your body signals uncertainty before your mind catches up. Left unchecked, these signals fuel the endless exhaustion of preparing for every "what if." But this response can be retrained.
This approach draws from behavioral experiments, a core technique in cognitive behavioral therapy used to test beliefs about uncertain outcomes through systematic exposure to ambiguous situations. Try this daily for a week:
Catch. Notice the urge to check, refresh, or ask for reassurance. Mark the moment when your body tenses or your thoughts race.
Pause. Wait before acting. Take three breaths and notice what rises: tightness in your chest, thoughts of what might go wrong, the pull to act now.
Predict. Ask yourself: What do I expect to happen if I do not act?
Note. Write a simple note: Predicted X. Outcome Y. This trains your brain to see the gap between fear and fact.
Start with low-stakes uncertainties: delayed responses to messages, minor schedule changes. The goal is demonstrating that uncertainty rarely delivers the catastrophes your mind predicts, building tolerance for incomplete information.
Research on medical testing reveals something powerful: people suffer more in the waiting than in the actual outcome. Once results are known, adaptation begins immediately.
You have weathered uncertainty before, and you will again. Your capacity to adapt and endure runs deeper than you know.
NOTEWORTHY
Read: The Upside of Uncertainty by Nathan & Susannah Harmon Furr. Reframing uncertainty as a source of possibility.
Explore: The Power of Vulnerability by Brené Brown. How vulnerability and uncertainty connect to courage and resilience.
Watch: The Pursuit of Happyness. A story of navigating extreme uncertainty with determination and adaptability.