Power & Status | Power Paradox
THE THOUGHT
Some heroes remember how to be human.
Even at the height of his career, my father insisted on splitting his days in two. Mornings in the corner office, making decisions that rippled through hundreds of lives. Afternoons on the floor, breathing in the sharp air of the workshop, hands blackened with grease.
The man at the top chose differently. He could have stayed removed, but instead he sought the noise of machinery and the defiance of steel that wouldn't bend to spec.
A unique insight comes from living between polite boardroom talk and the unfiltered reality of those who live with the consequences. There is immense power in earning the trust of unguarded voices.
He taught me, long before I understood the lesson, the importance of staying in touch.
My father still carries the wisdom of different truths. Yet in the decades since, I've watched countless leaders lose themselves in the altitude. Why do leaders so easily forget where they came from?
Nearly all men can stand adversity, but if you want to test a man’s character, give him power.
THE DIVE
The Power Paradox
Power diminishes our ability to see different perspectives, to see others and ourselves clearly. This cognitive shift happens automatically as we gain influence.
Research shows powerful people consistently fail basic empathy tests. They misread facial expressions. They interrupt more. They assume others think like they do and are more likely to stereotype. The very success that should make us better leaders makes us worse at understanding those we lead.
In a memorable study, participants were asked to draw the letter "E" on their forehead after being primed to feel powerful or powerless. Those in high-power roles drew it facing themselves. The powerless group drew it facing outward, readable to others.
Power narrows our perspective, and we lose the impulse to consider someone else's position.
Why does this happen? As we gain influence, we become less dependent on others, so our brains allocate less attention to social cues. We stop watching as carefully because we don't need to. The hypervigilance that helped us climb transforms into social blindness.
The results are predictable. As we lose touch with others, our decisions reflect this distance. The manager stops noticing when someone struggles. The parent misses their child's emotional cues.
Power doesn't just change how we treat people. It changes what we see about them. And perhaps most unsettling of all, it changes what we see about ourselves.
What if the very success we seek contains the seeds of our disconnection?
THE PRACTICE
Mirror Check
Power is not limited to corner offices and it doesn't always dull our view. Status shifts with context: the manager commanding meetings might be powerless at home. While some detachment can help with objectivity, left unchecked, this shift becomes a kind of blindness. We can build habits that counteract it.
Force perspective-taking: Before deciding, ask how it feels from their position. Use the "flip" technique: explain your reasoning to your biggest skeptic.
Keep feedback unfiltered: Create anonymous channels for honest input. Ask "What am I missing?" and "What's the strongest argument against this?"
Stay embedded: Regularly spend time in the environments you're deciding about. Listen more than you speak.
Practice empathy: Read stories from lives unlike yours. Notice and label emotions in daily interactions, even with strangers.
Build accountability: Have someone flag when you seem out of touch. Give them permission to call you on it.
Elevation will change what we see. Rising up can mean losing sight of the very ground that holds us. But awareness is reserved for those willing to do the work as they climb. Be the CEO who spends time on the floor.
BOOKS WORTH READING
The Power Paradox by Dacher Keltner | The psychology behind why we earn power through empathy but lose it to ego.
Multipliers by Liz Wiseman | How the best leaders amplify others instead of diminishing them.
The Hard Thing About Hard Things by Ben Horowitz | Real decisions leaders face when there are no good answers.
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